homesickness

Do you get homesick? I’m often asked that in Spanish and English by people here and friends and family back in the states. I have to admit (sorry mom and dad!) that: no, not really. Let me be clear. While I miss my family and friends and think about them often, I don’t get homesick. Or not normally.
I have been living away from home since I was 14, only spending summers and vacations with my parents. Also, home, has been a fairly fluid thing for me, (living in 6 different states over 22 years does that to you) so homesickness is not really something I’ve had to deal with here. However, I have realized that there are definitely things about the states that I have come to appreciate more fully be being away from them. So if I’m homesick for anything, it’s the following things. (Family and friends are of course an unspoken addition to this list.)

Anonymity. I don’t like to be in front of lots of people. I don’t think of myself as an attention seeker. I’d rather be in the back of the crowd observing everyone else. In this country I am a spectacle. And I don’t like it. Sometimes I wish that I could just be one of the crowd.
Example: Here in El Salvador lots of businesses hire MCs and DJs to hawk their products outside of their stores with loud speakers, music and running commentary of the goods or specials. But often it turns into commentary of the people on the street. If they are interesting enough to comment about. Which usually includes me. Yesterday walking through the parking lot of MetroCentro (the mall here in San Miguel that I probably talk about way to often) and around San Miguel I got called out by no fewer than three of these people. *person rattling off in Spanish suddenly switches to broken English* “hello my American friend and welcome to Metro Centro” or “hello chelita (little light – skin color – one), buy something?” And everyone around can hear and can identify me as the object or subject of the message. I wish I could just be anonymous. In the states, I am. And I miss it.

Quickness/efficiency. While I do enjoy the more laid back attitude here and I sometimes become overwhelmed and frustrated by the speed of things back in the states, there is definitely something to be said for speed. I have been without water for a week now and it will in all likelihood be at least 3 more days before we get water. During Hurricane Agatha that came through May 28th-30th, the river that runs through our town flooded and with it took some houses. In addition, mud and water got into the pumping room and equipment of our water system. Which means the whole system had to be flushed and cleaned out. Or something like that. Anyway, what it has meant for me is that since Sunday the 30th I have had no water. Luckily I have plenty of water to drink but during the rains that weekend, my clothes got pretty damp and I already had about a weeks worth of dirty clothes. Combine that with more dirty clothes, fewer showers as I try to save what little water I have and it means that Carol is extra dirty and smelly. Not fun. Now some people in SAS have pumps and wells. They have been the lucky ones. The rest of us have had to go to those people’s houses (I finally did some laundry today at a neighbor’s house), or go to the river, or haul water from somewhere else or buy it. Now I realize that for some Peace Corps volunteers, or maybe people in the states even, this is a reality and therefore I shouldn’t be complaining. And I’m trying not too. What I am commenting on however, is that there is a solution to this problem and it has taken more than a week to fix. I think people in the states would be up in arms on day number 2 or 3. And something would have happened a lot faster. But that is not the case here. And I wish it were.

Peace and quiet. The level of noise in this country is unbelievable. Whether it’s from the blasting radios, the blaring car horns, the noisy animals and children, the rumble of cars and buses, or the fiesta going on down the street, there is all told very little quiet in this country. Sure you can go out to the country and experience a little more peace and quiet, but you still get animals, and radios, and cars. In the states, even in cities, your houses are well insulated and you can call the police on your neighbors if they get too loud and there are rules for how loud buses and cars can be. No such luck here. I forget who suggested that I call the cops on my neighbors. But I almost laughed in their face. Sorry. Not gonna work here.

Littering is a quasi sin. I think in the states most people have it ingrained in their mind that you just don’t litter. You wait until you find a trash can and you throw your trash away. Now, I understand that in this country, disposable products are a new phenomenon and therefore people that litter are just doing so out of habit, when “trash” was all organic. Fast food came wrapped in corn husks, or banana leaves, or paper. But not now. And it’s tough to change habits. I know. But it still bugs me how nonchalantly mother and child, student and professor, vendor and shopper will throw their trash on the ground, out the window of a bus or in a ravine. Yesterday on the bus I finally did what I’ve been working up the nerve to do. The women in front of me moved to throw her trash out the window and I stuck my hand out and grabbed the trash from her hand. The woman turned around and she and her grandson were very surprised. I just looked at both of them, shook my head and put the trash in my purse to throw away when I got off the bus. Now, I understand that trashcans are not common place in this country, but they do exist. You just have to want to carry your garbage around in your pocket or purse until you find one. And in the states I think for most people this is the norm. And I miss that.

So, it probably looks like I’ve compiled a list of “reasons why I’m not happy here”. And that’s not the case. There are plenty of things that I like about being here, it’s just that every once and a while I’m reminded about good things in the states as well.