what am I doing here

What exactly is my objective? They told us during training that it would be a good idea to have objectives or a mission statement written down somewhere for us to reference back to, and see how much it changes as we continue on our journey. Every once and a while I feel completely without purpose, so I think some objectives would be helpful. According to Peace Corps/WorldWide my goals are as follows (paraphrased of course):

1. to provide interested (and less fortunate countries) with human capital (that's me!) to provide technical assistance in the continuing work to achieve basic needs for all members of the host country.
2. to provide american citizens with a better understanding of other cultures through their service in other countries, as well as blogs and letters back home to family and friends (you all are helping me fulfill my second goal - thanks!)
3. to provide citizens of the host country with a better understanding of american culture through the presence of a gringa in their community for 2+ years.

All of these objectives hope to encourage peace, friendship and understanding between the US and other countries. No big deal. I think I can do that.

The objectives of Peace Corps/El Salvador and the Sustainable Agriculture/Environmental Education Program (my specific prorgram) are:

1. to provide technical assistance to communities interested in agroforestry systems, soil conservation and maintenance; and sustainable agricultural techniques in general.
2. to provide formal and non-formal education in relation to the protection and mejoramiento "betterment" of the environment.

So that's what other people have told me my objectives are, but what are my objectives? Right now I'm really getting in to the cultural exchange part. I'm participating in any activity I'm invited to, and I'm chatting with anyone who wants to chat - except the bolos when I go running by in the morning. They just get a curt little buenos días and I continue on my way. I've taught some kids in the school red light, green light; hangman (it highlights how awful some of them are at spelling); and a really fun version of rock, paper, scissors but instead it's with wizards, elves, and giants and the kids have to act out the parts. It's a chance to be silly. I also helped my host brother make a piñata with papier mache. The whole family was astonished that corn flour and water could be used for something other than eating! :)

So in addition to immersing myself in Salvadoran culture, and sharing a little bit of my culture, I pretty much just try to be in the community. My biggest objective right now is just to get my name out there, and hopefully a little bit about why I'm here, and what I can (and won't!) do. It's like introducing a new puppy to your herd of animals. Let the other animals sniff him and make sure he isn't trouble, and then you can start playing. I hope when I come back from two more weeks of training I can get off on the right foot and start "playing", i.e. working.

Another one of my objectives is to continue improving my Spanish. Besides emails, journaling, rare phone calls and books in English, the rest of my day is spent in Spanish. I honestly can't tell if I've had dreams in Spanish yet. While my dreams are vivid as usual, the soundtracks are especially quiet so I can't actually tell what language people are speaking. What I can remember generally seems to be a crazy mixture. Or, I'll be speaking one language and everyone else will be speaking the other. (Now analyze that!)

Another objective is to broaden the horizons of the kids in SAS. As I mentioned in a previous entry, I'm really interested in improving the environmental conscience of the kids. Not only that though, but just life in general. Personal development, life skills and goals - to enjoy reading a book, to know where to look for answers to your own questions (dictionary, newspaper, parents etc.), to dream big about their future, and then have the gumption and tools to make it happen. For my host brother's birthday I bought him the first Harry Potter book in Spanish. He's seen all the movies and he was astonished to start reading and find out all sorts of things that they just couldn't fit in the movies. I'm hoping he will keep reading and learn to love it as much, if not more than he loves television. I hope to be able to broaden the horizons of many kids in this community. Luckily, I think just being here and being different is already changing things.

Another objective of mine is fairly concrete, and that would be the creation of home gardens and compost in the homes that are interested (hopefully the majority!) It is sunny almost all the time here, they have a good, consistent water source (it doesn't run all day, but it always comes on for 3-4 hours every morning) and plenty of decent, available soil. (The soil will probably be the limiting factor here, but that's where the compost and lombriculture can come in and help.) I pains me to see people eating only eggs, tortillas, rice, beans, chicken, sausage, corn, chips, soda, coffee and sweet bread. Many people comment on my height (I'm tall here!) and say that it's all the vitamins and nutrients that are pumped into our foods in the states and that that's what their kids need. I try to tell them that I actually wasn't raised on fortified foods, just good 'ole fashioned veggies, and that they can help their children grow by giving them lots of fruits and veggies. I think home gardens and the increased availability of veggies would greatly help the families here.

So those are my goals. Also, to play Memory with my little friend Elena as often as possible. She precocious, inquisitive, makes up stories all the time (about herself), just a tad annoying, and really cute. She kind of reminds me of what I think I probably was like when I was 3 and a half. She's here now so I'm going to go off and play.

dancing queen

This past Saturday was a day. It was interesting, good, exciting, event-filled .... day. I was supposed to teach an English class Saturday morning but the teacher never called me to say she was at the school. (I’ve decided that instead of waiting around and looking like a fool, I’m going to have the teachers call me when they are on their way so that I can time it better. Gringo time and Salvadoran time are not the same, so I’ve adopted this system to allow me to keep my sanity.) So, instead of going to the school and teaching some basic English phrases – I’m Carol. I’m from San Miguel. Are you and your family from San Miguel? – I hung around cleaning my room and lazy-ing about.

In the afternoon we headed off to San Miguel to meet up with some of Caro’s co-workers. (My host-mom, Carolina – we've kind of been christened Carolina del Norte, and Carolina del Sur, but no one really uses that…maybe eventually it’ll stick.) Her co-workers have a fútbol team and they were going to an away game up in Morazan Department, somewhere near Perquín. Caro wanted to show me Perquín because it’s awesome, and then we would go support her friends at their game. Well, the game was actually not really anywhere near Perquín so we just went straight to the game, but it was still fun anyway. Morazan is beautiful (mountains, trees, rivers, and much cooler!) and as we got to the cancha it started to drizzle a little bit which cooled everything off nicely for the game. Caro’s co-workers won 6-0. It was a fun game because all of the team mates were cracking jokes about each other and egging each other on. And I understood a good portion of what was being said!

After the game we headed pretty much directly back to SAS because we had to arreglarse (literally arrange ourselves; to get ready) for the fiesta in which the Candidate for the Queen of the San Miguel Carnival was to be presented. But first we had to pick her up from her hair appointment in San Miguel. Each year for the HUGE carnival that San Miguel puts on, there is a reina elected. Each community under the municipal direction of San Miguel has a candidate. Saturday night here in SAS was our fiesta to officially present to the community our candidate.

So, in true style, the ADESCO arranged a dance. They hired DJ “Super Caliente” to provide the tunes, sold tickets and advertised on the local radio stations. The party was set to start at 8 pm and we got there at 7:30 to help sell tickets at the door and any other last minute preparations. No one really started showing up until 8:30, but that didn’t mean the music wasn't going! I don’t know how this whole country isn’t deaf yet. The music was so loud I could feel my jeans vibrating against my legs. I spent a good part of the night watching poor ants struggling to get away from the vibrations, but of course, they would have to walk for miles to get away from the bass. DJ Super Caliente had brought a literal wall of speakers and set them up in front of his stage. It was a monstrosity of 3 speakers x 6 speakers. At one point I was pleasantly surprised to feel a breeze inside the casa communal where the dance was being held, but as I plugged my ears with my fingers, I realized it was just the bass pushing the air. I had a mini headache the next day. I don’t know when the next fiesta is, but let’s just say I’m not really looking forward to it. =P

i'm on my way

As Rusted Root so eloquently sings – “I’m on my way”. I presented my diagnostic findings yesterday to a room full of community and school members – teachers, policemen, ADESCO members (kind of like the city council), a nurse from the local health clinic and students. These past 6 weeks I have been interviewing community members and observing classes to get a better idea of what projects are desired in the community. After my boss from Peace Corps talked for a little bit, I gave a brief introduction of myself and then launched right in. I started with the specific data gathered from the interviews. I ended up interviewing 54 families, (or 245 people) which was my goal, but not even a 10th of the households in this community! I would like to think that my data can be a rough estimation of the community as a whole, but a 10% response rate is not statistically adequate if I remember anything from stats class. Anyhow, for the families interviewed, 60% are male-headed households. This surprised me, considering how many husbands, brothers, and fathers are in the states – but I think a couple of those male heads of households are grandpas, and it’s more symbolic than anything, ‘cause mom really runs the whole show! It’s an interesting study in women empowerment. Yes, there is still machismo, but more and more women are raising their kids all on their own and gaining incredible independence because of it.

I also covered average education levels. For all people interviewed, the average grade obtained was 5th. 20-39 year olds have an average of 8th grade, 40-59 year olds have an average of 4th grade, and 60-90 year olds have an average of 1st grade. I fudged the last set to include more ages because it allowed me to have about the same number of people in each division, and it also didn’t change the average at all to include the 80-90 years olds (also because there are only 4 of them or so). The teachers present at the presentation were really pleased to see that data set! Their work is paying off! 23 families – or 42% - receive remesas, which seems a little low from what I can tell, but I think some people had pena (shame) in telling me whether they receive them or not. More than 40% of the people interviewed are under the age of 18 (42% or 104 to be specific.)

After covering those and other statistics, I launched into the section about needs identified in the community. I was grateful to my host-mom/counterpart for helping me come up with that term. I was looking for a way to say – things to work on in the community – without saying “problems”. I think in the end it came across really objective and fair. I presented the needs that were discussed in the interviews, and then presented ideas for dealing with these needs. For instance, garbage management is a big deal that pretty much all community members mentioned. Some of the ideas generated are to gestionar (work for, or towards) garbage bins and trash pickup in the community, as well as charlas (chats) about proper garbage management, recycling, composting, and reducing use of disposable containers.

Another need that was identified that I really hope to focus on is environmental conscience. I think that if we can work towards educating the kids and the community to see their environment (in all it's physical, biological and socio-cultural senses) as something to be respected and also to be proud of, achieving the other more concrete changes will be a little easier. You can tell people ‘till you’re blue in the face not to throw their trash on the ground, but if they don’t first have the appreciation for what that garbage on the ground will do, it won’t matter how many times you tell them. One of the ways I would like to increase the environmental conscientiousness here is with trips to local natural areas and parks. I think they will help the kids see that El Salvador has plenty of places to be proud of as well as open their eyes to the reality that there is so much more (literally and figuratively) out there than they know.

I continued with other needs identified in the community – home gardens (yay for vegetables!), planting trees everywhere and anywhere (yay for shade!), compost (yay for helpful bugs!), as well as general health (yay for exercise!) I’ve offered myself up for leading exercise classes or something. The nurse from the health clinic seemed really happy about that, as well as other parts of the presentation, so we’ll see where that goes in terms of networking! In the end I opened it up for questions. I didn’t really get any questions, but I got lots of “felicitaciones” (congratulations). The police were really excited that I mentioned delinquency as one of the areas in which I would like to work. The police are under lots of pressure on a national level to control delinquency. As of the beginning of October, I believe, there have been more homicides in 2009 than in all of 2008. I think it works out to about 13 a day? Anyway, there were calls for the national police chief to step down, and calls that this is proof the new government (leftist, first in 29 years or something) can’t be trusted to do anything right because they’ve actually allowed an increase in homicides. So, now the national army has been called to start patrolling with the local police forces to try and control the situation. That being said, they are looking for any ideas about how to control delinquency from the front end, as much as from the tail end. It felt really good to share the information I’ve been gathering and have it validated.

The people in attendance expressed their gratitude for having everything so well laid out. The nurse commented that for only being here for 6 weeks, I hit the nail exactly on the head with regards to the needs of the community! And the President of the ADESCO was grateful that I was able to express everything so clearly with the needs presented first, and then immediately followed them with ideas to address those needs. I think that will be one of my keys to productivity. Every time we discuss “problems”, which is a word I really don’t like, I want to reinforce the presence of solutions. (No negative Nancys here!) That’s what I’m working on right now with the Guardianes Ambientales. We’ve been identifying problems in the community, but also discussing the causes, effects and solutions. It seems to be a really fruitful discussion.

So all that being said, I really feel like I’m on my way. I have a work plan of activities that I’m excited to work on, and I presented it to community representatives, and they seemed jazzed about it as well. Of course each person had their own “pet” project they seemed to really like, but I hope that means I will have lots of help from lots of different people on each project.

ground control to major tom

It’s almost my one month anniversary of being in San Antonio Silva, and I’m in a weird place right now. I feel comfortable, physically, emotionally and mentally, but I’m not totally sure of where I’m heading. I don’t know if those things seem contradictory to you, but to me they are. I have a fairly set routine which helps me pass the days, but sometimes, that’s exactly what it feels like - just waiting for another day to pass.

I wake up at 5:45 and go running, or some other form of exercise. Oh, and pretty much the whole town thinks I’m crazy as I run past them once, twice, three and four times, but that’s okay. Maybe eventually I’ll find a running buddy, and we can be weird together! (I’m afraid that not only do they think I’m crazy, but also scary. Here in El Salvador, one of the superstitions is about really sweaty people. The conventional wisdom if that if a sweaty person approaches a little child, they can infect the child with evil spirits… Well, if there’s one thing I am when I’m running here, it’s sweaty. I hope that because it’s so hot here, maybe that superstition doesn’t apply? Nevertheless, I generally run a little faster past mothers and children, in case she gives me an evil eye or something, warding off my evil, sweaty, spirit.) After breakfast, and a refreshing shower, I generally go out with my host-grandma and interview people in the community, or just go and chat. In the afternoons I spend time with my host brother, compile information from the morning’s interviews and plan English classes or meetings with my eco-club. And that’s about it. The trips to San Miguel, or community meetings, or wakes, or whatever, don’t come along that often. My life has become fairly regimented, but in a completely non-stressful and unassuming way. It’s really quite strange.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel though; the busy, lots-of-meetings, light at the end of this two month tunnel. I officially have two groups of Guardianas Ambientales (Environmental Guardians) who will be the core of my eco-club. One group will meet Wednesday mornings because they have afternoon classes, and the other will meet Wednesdays in the afternoon because they have morning classes. I’m excited to have a group that I can focus on. It feels like something if starting to roll. However, I don’t plan on getting any “real” activities going just yet (community clean-up campaigns, compost piles etc), but instead, spend this time getting to know the kids and what they want to do with the club. In this way I feel half way in, half way out.

I also think I will be starting the English classes this week too. Though I’m still not entirely sure how I feel teaching English. A part of me is happy that I can provide a service to this community, something they are interested in (though right now, the majority of people signed up are teachers, and they are from San Miguel…) Another part of me feels completely unqualified to teach English, and therefore, I’m doing a disservice to them; another part of me is a little disappointed because I would like to spend my energy on environmental issues and finally, a tiny part of me is frustrated/afraid because a few people have expressed sentiments to me like: “oh, I can’t wait to learn English from you. In two years I’ll be fluent!” I’m frustrated because I don’t think they realize how much work that will be (for me and them) and I’m afraid that they will blame me if they aren’t fluent. I think I need to just keep reminding myself that in the end, by teaching these classes, I’m building relationships and gaining confianza (trust, confidence) with the people attending the classes. And therefore, hopefully, everyone will be more willing to work with me when I do have environmentally focused activities or projects.

So I think that’s part of why I’m feeling…a drift… right now. I’m one month in, spending time doing what I’m supposed to be doing – getting to the know my community, and letting them get to know me. But, I like to be busy, and I like to see progress and the fact that even though I’m meeting with people every day and getting lots of balls rolling doesn’t compute in my mind as progress. Also, I’m one month away from two more weeks of training, which will be a nice break before I really get working. But I have a feeling that when I get back, work will still be slow in the making. This is because the Fiestas Patronales of San Miguel are in late November (and since SAS is a part of the municipality of San Miguel, we get to party too.) And then the kids have no school in November and December, but December is one big Christmas Party and then the beginning of January is the Fiestas Patronales of Molineros (my training community) so I’m going back for those. Essentially, this all means that, maybe, come January I will have a more focused life, physically and mentally. Right now I feel like a quality candidate for space cadet of the month. Oh, and I’m still looking for a house.

question and answer

Lately my days have been filled with classroom observations and house visits. It's really given me a window into San Antonio Silva, and I'm grateful for all that this community has already provided me.

The school is enclosed by a huge brick wall, 8+ feet high, and topped with barbed wire. It would be imposing, if there weren't the bright blue and white painted school name and crest on the walls, the trees poking over the top, and the sounds of children playing floating overhead. The school is very large. As in any school, matriculation drops as the year continues, and since school ends in November, the classes are smaller than normal. Right now there are about 800 students in the school. Next school year (which starts January 10th or so) they are expecting a matriculation of almost 1000 students!!!

There are 4 "pavilions" of classrooms. (Complexes of classrooms.) There are about 15 classrooms in the school, as well as a stage, a cantina (food stand), cocina (kitchen - where the food provided by the government is prepared and given out to the students everyday), futbol cancha, basketball court, playground, bathrooms, gardens and garbage piles, administrative offices, computer room, and the aula de apoyo. (This means support classroom, literally. It's where the students with learning difficulties go to receive extra attention. I like that they call it a “support room” here, and I really like the teacher! They also have an accelerated learner’s classroom that I'm really excited to observe.) But I digress.

Students either go to school in the morning or the afternoon. For computer classes, the students come during the opposite time once a week to receive that class. Morning classes start at 7:10 and end at 11:30 or so, and afternoon classes start at 12:10 and end around 4:30. There are six periods, each lasting 45 minutes, with two recesses, one of 10 minutes and one of 15. I think if you check, you will see that the math doesn't work out, but it doesn't really matter because no one seems to follow the schedule, not even the school director or the teachers!

Classes regularly start 5-10 minutes late, and even then, that's when everyone is sitting down – it sometimes takes a while for the lesson to begin. In younger grades, one teacher usually gives all the classes, but in the older grades, there's a science teacher, social studies teacher and English teacher that rotate. This rotations cuts out of class time as well. The topics range from the periodic table to Central American Independence, long division to why and how shadows are formed. At times I’m amazed with how basic and slow moving the classes seem, and at other times I’m inspired by the motivation of the teachers and the way they tackle their material, especially given their relative lack of resources. Some of the students are clearly attending classes for reasons other than to learn (my primary guesses include – nothing else to do, mom and/or dad make them, it’s where all their friends are anyway, and it’s a chance to get a snack.) That’s not to say that those are invalid reasons for being at school – if anything, those are the kids that I’d like to work with the most, to try and encourage them to continue their studies for other reasons as well.

I originally commented that I think this community is fairly well off, and I think on the average that is true, but if my house visits have taught me anything, it’s that as in any community there are a range of home conditions. Some people are living in fairly basic housing – packed dirt floors, wood panel or corrugated metal walls, tile or thatched roof while others live in two story homes with beautiful fences, fancy metal bars on the windows, gorgeous fruit trees and flowers etc. But even with these differences, everyone is incredibly welcoming. When I show up a new house to do an interview, it always begins with some platicando (chatting) and then we move in to the interview part. It’s just some basic questions about who lives in the household, how old, occupation, level of education etc. I also ask some questions about garbage management, whether they have an agricultural land or animals (besides the obligatory dog or cat). The interview itself usually only takes about 5 minutes, but I always give a little bio at the beginning and answer any questions at the end. The most common questions are – “why are you doing this interview/ what is this information for”, “where are you from”, “are you family of Carolina” (my host mom), “how old are you”, and, “are you married”! I love meeting the people in this community and can’t wait to continue my interviews. Hope you all are well.

independence day parade

It's 4:30 am and the dogs have started barking. I'm not sure at what exactly, but I can hear other dogs in the distance begin to bark to. I try to fall back asleep, the electrical hum of the ceiling fan helping with it's white noise. It's no use though, because the local radio station begins to air it's daily offerings on loud speaker to the entire community "today, two for one pupusas at the comedor. fútbol game at 2 pm. church services at the following churches..." etc. A wonderful advertising tool that I will for sure need to take advantage of at some point, but kind of a bummer at 5 am!
Today is Independence Day here in El Salvador, as well as the rest of Central America. School is cancelled for today ("summer" break is November-January) but the schools are the main participants in the parades. My host mom and I went to the school at 6 am to help prepare the food for all the marchantes after the parade. We returned home to wait for the parade to pass. The parade consisted of the school, and only the school. First the flag bearers, then the kids in costumes - traditional El Salvadoran dress, doctors, police, soliders, nurses etc. - then the littlest cachipuristas (baton twirlers), then the band, then the older cachipuristas, then the cheerleaders, then the gynmasts, then a "brigade" of students marching in their school uniforms. It was all pretty cool, especially because all the parents and teachers work really hard to make it all happen, and they parade right next to their kids, making sure everything goes alright. In this heat, they also provide them with water, wipe their faces etc. It's a pretty big event, considering. We waited until the parade passed, and then followed behind to watch some more. That quickly became walking with the parade, and then barreling on past the parade. It's weird to me to be watching a parade, and kind of participating in it, but here it's no big deal to walk right along side, and even pass the people parading. I guess it's also a little weird for me, because I know that gringo t.v. is really interesting and that I was like a saturday morning cartoon for a lot of the kids.
After the parade, and some brief words of congratulations and thanks at the school, we returned home. We watched the larger ceremonies in the capital on t.v. in the comfort of our living room. They have essentially the same thing, but in the large fútbol stadium in San Sal. It begins with school groups, gynmasts, cheerleaders, cachipuristas, bands etc. A large part of it was a parade and display of the armed forces of El Salvador. They had a fake war right there on the soccer field, complete with helicopter evacutations, cannon fire, and peace negotiations. They also had a cavalry demonstration and paratroopers! It was pretty impressive, if not a little disturbing.
After that, I passed the afternoon watching fútbol (Real Madrid vs. Zúrich) in a hammock. It really is a tough life here, but someone has to do it!
I will close here - my host brother and a jigsaw puzzle are calling me!

under the hot lights

We've been told that we should pretend that we are auditioning for a job. This audition is in front of an entire community, and the audition will last anywhere from a few weeks to a few months. No pressure!!

I am here in my new site, and it's true. Everyone just wants to check and make sure that you are "buena gente". They want to know that you know what they know before they are willing to learn from you what you know. I have begun the process of getting to know the community by visiting the school and passing through all the classes with the directora (I wish we could gender nouns in english!). I was also introduced in front of a parents meeting. Now pretty much the whole community knows my name, but I don't know the names of any of them!

The audition seems to be going well so far - in the afternoons I go visiting with my abuelita. We visit her friends in the community. I'm slowly getting to know people. I don't think I'm ever going to know everyone in this community. I hope for maybe knowing everyone in the school. I will probably be here most of the time anyway, since Peace Corps and MINED have an agreement of certain charlas that I have to give, and considering that there are 2-3 sections of each grade, I will be teaching a lot!
Not only do I think I will enjoy my job, but I think my new host family is great. Carolina, my new host mom, wants to exercise as well as learn to cook more "saludable" for herself and her son. I've already convereted her son to whole wheat bread without doing anything! I think we are going to get along very well.

This town is very interesting. It appears that there is quite a bit of money (I saw an air conditioner unit sticking out of a house the other day) and quite a few houses have cars and computers. That isn't so say that this town isn't a peace corps town - though sometimes, even though I've only been here for 4 days, I forget that I'm in El Salvador. And then, the bachata blasts from the car radio passing by, the cows barrel past as the farmers bikes behind them, the women walk by with guacals full of pupusas balanced on their heads. I have visited the poorer people in town, but almost everyone has family in the states that send down remesas, and with those remesas they buy luxuries. Not that I begrudge them any of it, it's just interesting.

I hope I can have a positive impact on this town. Just now entering into the school (where they have a computer lab and internet) I was acosted by a bunch of niñas. They were very excited to see me and chat with me. I think one of the toughest things for me to see though is the amount of children that have one parent, or sometimes both! in the states. A lot of parents from this town, and this country in general, are in Washington D.C. and Houston.
I have a feeling I will love it here. Somedays I might want to jump in the freezer to get away from the heat, but it's all the more reason to love a bucket bath! I think, in general though, besides the heat, this is going to be a great fit. Just wait and see.